176. Defining Your Enough To Build Real Wealth

One of the most dangerous money problems is also the most normal: hitting a goal and immediately needing a bigger one. That “never enough” feeling can look like ambition on the outside, but inside it often brings anxiety, comparison, and decisions you would not normally make. We sit down and unpack Chapter 3 of The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel, using real stories to show how success without contentment can spiral. 
 
We talk about Bernie Madoff as an extreme example of what happens when more is never more, and how the chase can skew your morals and cloud your judgement. From there we shift into a simple but life-changing idea for personal finance and financial planning: define your enough. We explore why goals like becoming a millionaire or building investment wealth are not wrong, but they become hollow if you cannot explain what the money is meant to do for your life. 
 
We also bring in a deeper layer: the enoughness wound. Many of us carry an old belief that we are not good enough or do not have enough, and it can drive overwork, overspending, lifestyle inflation, and constant goalpost-shifting. We share how tools like the Wheel of Life and our Wheel of Wealth help you build a balanced plan across retirement, savings, family time, health, and purpose, so you can “have it all” over time, not all at once. If this resonates, subscribe, share the episode, and leave a review, then tell us: what does “enough” mean to you?

Transcript

Welcome And Chapter Three

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Hello everybody, welcome to Know Your Money. I'm Bronwyn Wayner.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

And I'm Craig Finch, and we are from Growth Financial Planning. We hope you enjoy our podcast. Hi Bron, how are you today? Good and you. Good, thank you. So we're still on the book, which is great, The Psychology of Money by Morgan Hausel. Yes. And we're on chapter three. Yes. That's quite an interesting one. It's never enough. Is that the chapter we're talking about today?

SPEAKER_00 0:38

That is the chapter. Beautiful concept.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Really is.

Bernie Madoff And Never Enough

SPEAKER_00 0:42

So one of the stories that he brings up is about Bernie Madoff and he had that Ponzi scheme. And just what the book is saying is before he did that Ponzi scheme, he was actually so successful. His company was making between 25 million and 50 million Rand a year. I mean dollars.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Dollars a year.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

A year. And then he still went and went for more because it just wasn't enough. And I think sometimes when it's not enough, your decisions get tampered and you you maybe do things that you wouldn't normally do as a good person because now you you just want that next deal. For example, in our industry, it's if someone had to come to us and they've got 500 million rand that they want to invest, but we know that they've gotten that through um bribes. Are we, do we feel enough that we can turn that person away and say, look, I'm sorry, I don't want to work with you because of my morals, or do we take that person because we really need the money? Some people do. But I think we won't. No, we won't, but that's because we've learned what what value is to us, what enough. It's not just about selling and making money, it's about the people and the values that we want to carry through, right?

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Yeah, so Bernie move that that Ponzi scheme is uh he had to he wasn't inver on the on the second part of his business, which was I think one story up from the legitimate business that was investing people's money. This they they were he was investing no money, but he was giving these fictitious returns. And every time he had to pay somebody out, he had just got some more money in. So it was a complete pyramid. Ponzi skids Ponzi was from way back. So the first person who did it in the, I don't know, hundreds of years ago was named was Ponzi. That's why they call it that. So yeah, that was and then you get greedier and greedy and greedy about it, and you know, nobody's catching you, so you're getting away with it. So your whole morals are completely skewed. And when there was when it when it eventually collapsed, I mean he lost his family, I think his son committed suicide. It was because they also thought they were w working in a legitimate business where the father was respected.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

So it was really uh yeah, so and as you're right, never enough.

The Catch 22 Lesson On Enough

SPEAKER_01 3:10

Same as that um story about the author who wrote Catch 22. Just can't remember his name at the moment, and he was at a a dinner party or a yeah, dinner party somewhere with his friend at this very, very wealthy tech person's house. And his friend said to the the the author of Catch 22, Do you know this guy made more money last month than you made in the sale of your book, the sale of your book? So he said, and the guy who wrote catch 22 said, Yes, but he hasn't got what I've got. He said, No, no, he's got everything. He's got anything you can ever buy. He's he could buy it ten times over. He said, No, but he still hasn't got what I've got. He said, What is that? And he said, he hasn't got enough. And that's it was so true.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

That's

Financial Planning Starts With Enough

SPEAKER_00 4:01

absolutely true, and I think that that's one of the cornerstones of the way that I believe in doing financial planning is first of all, just trying to help you define what your enough is. Because yes, we all have these goals, and it's good to have goals. You want to be a millionaire, you want to be a billionaire, you want to be a dollar millionaire. Okay, great. But if you are that, what are you using that money for and where is it going? Because sometimes we get caught up in proving our value in how much we earn or what we're worth or what we want in our life. We're trying to keep up with the Joneses or things like that. And I think the most crucial part of financial planning that we as financial planners should be doing is helping people feel enough who they are, what they have, what they actually want from life. Because if you don't define that, you're going to just keep going and going and going because you're still searching for that answer.

Heart Healing And The Enoughness Wound

SPEAKER_00 5:07

And that's why one of the things I've brought into financial planning is um heart healing, which is a modality that I've studied and learned. And one of the universal wounds that we all have is enoughness. I don't feel good enough, I'm not enough, I never have enough. And that is always linked to some part of our childhood. And what this healing practice would do during the financial planning process would be to get to the root of where that wound has started. Where did it come from? Who made you not feel enough that you have to keep striving for these different things? And I've just found it to be so powerful because when I do this alongside doing a financial plan, it makes that financial plan more solidified and stick to it. Because otherwise, what I find is we write a plan and then let's say they achieve that plan. Then the next day we're trying to achieve something else. Whereas once you feel enough with who you are and you can walk away from different things, you you don't necessarily need more. And the funny thing is when you don't need more, then millions more actually do come in. But you make a decision from a clearer mindset.

Less Is More And Lifestyle Traps

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Yeah, that's I mean, if you can get to that point of knowing what enough is, and some I think a lot of the chats around now is that less is more. You don't need to you don't need 20 suits kind of thing just as a silly thing, but I'm just saying that is you realize what you do really need. It's not a lot, actually.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Yeah, and I think sometimes if you f catch yourself wanting to strive for more and it's like never enough. Like you say, you put a goal down and then you need to go for the next goal, it is a moment to pause and reflect. Do you need to do some form of healing? Or you know, Mark Williams, who was on our podcast and unfortunately has passed away, I'm sure he's taught you a few golden nuggets to help you define your enough, right? And that's why you've lived a life of purpose and still spend time with your money, um, time with your family, enjoyed going out. And it's those little nuggets that I think people need in their life to learn their enoughness. So, what's one Yeah?

SPEAKER_01 7:33

So it's also what we said in the last episode. Don't just go for one, for one thing, just money, money, money. It's not like that. It's a balance of life, it's a circle of life and having balance. And hopefully it's not that easy to have all areas covered, but to have more areas covered and you realise, you know, when you buy a new car. Remember when I bought a car years ago, my friend said, Yeah, but in next week it's just gonna be a an old car. I said, No, but it's a beautiful new car. He said, No, but and you switch to the next week, you're going, yeah, it's just a car, and it's so true. Yeah. So I think it's yeah, it's important to that you can feel, and I it's most important that you, as you say, heal your heart to know when enough is enough. You don't have to keep fighting in one area and then your health gets affected, your family gets affected, you don't go on holidays, you don't play sport, etc. etc. If you stick to the one goal of just having more and more money.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

So yeah, and um I think a tool that is really good to use is that wheel

Wheel Of Life And Wheel Of Wealth

SPEAKER_00 8:32

of life. Um if you Google that, you could literally find it. But we also have it on our websites, and we've now created the wheel of wealth. So you've got to look at all those different aspects on your wheel of wealth, and then that's when you define enough.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Because yes, you might define enough as your retirement goal, but then you haven't kept money aside for savings, and then you're gonna tap into that. You really have to look at the broader picture of everything, and then exactly like you said, you can't focus you. I believe you can have it all.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Yeah, which is good I think it's a lovely concept that as well that you've brought

Having It All Needs Balance

SPEAKER_01 9:10

into.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

But having it all doesn't mean it's all at the same time. And that's something big that I've had to work through. Like, so I want to be with my kids, but I also want to have a wildly successful business. And how do you manage both? Okay, well, how do I be present with my kids when it's my kids' time? And how do I be present with my business when it's business time? And that's how you have it all. Sometimes you're just gonna be focusing on your business in that moment or in those hours, and then you're not gonna be focusing on your kids, but it doesn't mean you lose sight of them. It's just that balance of everything and having enough, right?

unknown 9:50

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

Awesome. Thanks.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Thanks, Brian. See you next episode.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

See you next episode.

Subscribe And Final Disclaimer

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Thank you for listening. If you have enjoyed this podcast or like to subscribe, please visit our website www.growthfp.co.za. The information we have provided in this podcast is our personal opinion. For more detailed information, please discuss your financial situation with a financial planner.